Do long distance relationships really work?

This month marks seven years that my husband and I have been together....sheesh...SEVEN YEARS!!! Where does the time go?? This got me thinking about one of the biggest obstacles we as a couple have had to face over these seven long, I mean wonderful, years...Surviving long distance!

Our Story.
When I first moved to Louisville Kentucky, where I met Chris, I was there for three months at a time, then I would go back to England for a month or two, then back again for three months. This went on for a good two years while we were dating. In that time Chris visited England, I believe twice for about a week, each time around Christmas. When Chris proposed in November 2011, we dove straight into organizing the visa that would allow me to get married here in the states. Thus followed our longest time apart yet. One whole year! During that period from December 2011 to December 2012, we managed to see each other on two occasions for a total of, I want to say eighteen days. Chris came to England for three days...yes he traveled 4000 miles to see me for 3 whole days...oh to be young and in love. Then he came to England again for two weeks that Christmas. Since we got married in 2013, the longest we've been apart is two weeks.

How did we cope?
Looking back now, I can't say that it was all easy, especially those first few months when we started dating. I missed Kentucky and I missed hanging out with him like crazy. We Skyped a lot and messaged each other on Facebook as often as we could, but I have to admit to having those girly moments if I woke up in the morning to no message from him. We definitely had a lot of  'I go to bed before you, don't you know how nice it would be if I woke up every morning to a message from you?' conversations. Now those conversations make me laugh. As for the year we spent apart, I was lucky, I had a job at home which I loved and I just enjoyed every minute of being at home. It kind of distracted me a little from missing Chris so much. Instead I was just excited to tell him about the things I was up to.

What made us work?
To this day, myself and Chris have an understanding that we are two separate people who can actually go about our daily lives quite confidently and independently. It's not something we gloat about, like we're these individual people who need space and can live without each other, it's just because for a certain amount of time we had no other option. Any time we had to spend apart never involved us questioning whether our relationship would suffer or if it would last. In fact that never even entered the equation. We knew we wanted to be together so we just saw it as something we had to overcome. We chose to think about the positive experiences we had while we were apart. Furthermore, being in two separate countries also helped us grow and become our own people too, we didn't have to rely on each other and we could enjoy doing our own things for a while. And instead of drifting apart, it seemed to bring us closer together. We are both very different but our differences seem to make us that much better of a team when we are together.

My advice.
Make notes of things that make you smile, that you want to tell your partner/husband/wife later. I especially think this is fun when you know you aren't going to have your phone or WiFi on you, or even if you are both busy and don't have much time for a chat. Writing notes can be fun and then you can recall all those stories at a later date and enjoy them together.
Be you and enjoy what you are doing, grow as a person and then bring what you have learnt to your relationship to make it stronger.
Don't stress or worry if you haven't  heard from them. It's most likely that they are just getting on with what they have to do, be it a new school or work routine or just hanging out with friends to fill a void because they miss you...believe it or not they really do miss you. Take that time to have 'me time' and be happy that you will catch up later.
Most importantly, I think is, Don't Overthink. To me that's all there is to it. There are some things in life you can't control, immigration being one of them. But sometimes we just have to have a little faith that we are on the right track, whilst in the meantime enjoying the journey we are on together. If it means being apart for a little while, that's OK, after all it's better than not being together at all.

So to conclude, my answer is YES, long distance relationships do work, you just have to put the time, patience and effort in. If you want it to work, it will work.

Have a great day.
Love Kelly

1 comment :

  1. I really like how you wrote it. It's really encouraging for everyone who is doubting long distance relationships. I dated my ex (I am from Czech, he's from USA) for about 3 years. We broke up not because of the distance, but because it didn't work out between us. So yes, if you want to, it can work. :)

    Michelle Morchella