To share or not to share!

At the age of twelve I was more than happy to shout from the roof tops that I wanted to be a professional wrestler. It didn't matter who knew or what they thought about my goals because I didn't care, nothing would deter my dreams. Back then it seemed no amount of smirks or giggles could put me off, I had an unnerving amount of determination and nothing was going to stop me. So much so, that throughout my teens and well into my twenties, I proudly wore my wrestler badge, I was a professional wrestler for nine years, achieved things I never even imagined possible and had an incredible time doing so.

When I hung up my wrestling boots at twenty-five years old I have to admit that it was scary, a huge reality check for me. Sure I had other passions and other things I dreamt of pursuing, but it hit me that I wasn't twelve years old anymore, I wasn't so carefree and naïve. What on earth was I going to do with my life and could I actually achieve them? All of a sudden I started letting myself succumb to fear, a fear that wasn't present when I was twelve. I dreaded people asking me questions as to what I was doing or what I wanted to do next. I would fumble over answers, replying with 'oh this and that', 'you know working on projects' and such. Over time my heart knew exactly what it wanted to do but I was actually fearful of saying them out loud.

With social media these days every one likes to tell each other everything, I've seen the good and the bad with this. I've read comments where people would make fun of people who always had to say they were working out. I've come across memes where it's funny to make jokes at others who are always eating healthy, I've read quotes that talk about letting your success speak for itself instead of telling people about it. All these factors seemed to effect my confidence in my new dreams. I didn't want to tell people. I was content in getting on with things quietly and keeping myself to myself. (Which by all means is completely awesome and fine to do.)

However, after a little while I started to wonder why I was so scared about speaking up and it occurred to me that I was terrified, terrified of failing. I was allowing all these excuses of people laughing, people thinking I couldn't do it, people getting annoyed with constant food pictures or writing quotes, and I realized that by doing this, by letting and creating these insecure negative thoughts build up in my head, I was setting myself up to fail. Even more so, I realized it wasn't about other people, I was giving myself an excuse. If I didn't tell people then it wouldn't matter if I failed or I never achieved my goals because no one would know.

I have a dream of becoming a published author, and saying that in all honesty terrifies me. I absolutely adore writing with every bit of me, but I have good days and bad days where I think who am I kidding? My book would suck. But standing tall and saying it to myself and answering the 'What do you do?" question with a confident "I write, I want to be a writer." pushes me. It challenges me every day to sit and write and push for my goals, in the same way that that twelve year old girl proudly proclaimed she was going to be a wrestler. A new found confidence came with telling people, but more importantly, a new found confidence came from telling myself, really actually telling myself, you want to do this, so do it.

In addition, I've thoroughly been enjoying posting lots of foodie pictures and workout pictures on social media, but it took me the longest time to be confident in doing so. Why? Because of all of the above. I didn't want to annoy people, I didn't want to commit to saying 'I'm on a fitness journey' and then fail, I didn't want to own up to wanting to change my body incase I gave up or I didn't look like all the other gym goers. Then I realized that I had to stop caring, yes in today's day and age it's fun to get likes, it's fun to see your follower count go up, but if you actually take a step back you will realize that everything you say and everything you post comes from that little part in your brain that believes in you, that part of your brain that is taking a risk, a part of your brain that is telling the world to watch you because you got this and you're going to kick ass, no matter how many RT's you get. In posting these things I found that I had achieved a level of confidence in myself I never knew I had, I let go and started doing it for me because I enjoyed it and it made me happy. It challenged me to take one step further towards my goals each day and knocked down walls I had built up in my head, those walls built out of fears. Now stepping out of my comfort zone and into new territories I feel I can achieve anything.

So next time you see someone checking into the gym, posting healthy food pictures, sharing a goal, telling you what they are going to achieve, how they are going to be the next movie star or singer, be sure to offer a positive, uplifting few words of encouragement and support, pat them on the back for being confident, for having a dream and going after it. And to you, who may be lacking in confidence, I say, think back to the days of being a kid where nothing was impossible, where you happily ran around in a superman cape whole heartedly believing you were Superman, go forth and make that kid proud!! It's not so much about the likes or fitting into a crowd or even growing a social media platform, it's about doing what you love, sharing your passions and believing in yourself. Admit to yourself what you want and go out and get it.

Go and do something today that makes you one step closer to achieving your dreams and have a wonderful day!
Love Lucy xx