When I hung up my wrestling boots at twenty-five years old I have to admit that it was scary, a huge reality check for me. Sure I had other passions and other things I dreamt of pursuing, but it hit me that I wasn't twelve years old anymore, I wasn't so carefree and naïve. What on earth was I going to do with my life and could I actually achieve them? All of a sudden I started letting myself succumb to fear, a fear that wasn't present when I was twelve. I dreaded people asking me questions as to what I was doing or what I wanted to do next. I would fumble over answers, replying with 'oh this and that', 'you know working on projects' and such. Over time my heart knew exactly what it wanted to do but I was actually fearful of saying them out loud.
With social media these days every one likes to tell each other everything, I've seen the good and the bad with this. I've read comments where people would make fun of people who always had to say they were working out. I've come across memes where it's funny to make jokes at others who are always eating healthy, I've read quotes that talk about letting your success speak for itself instead of telling people about it. All these factors seemed to effect my confidence in my new dreams. I didn't want to tell people. I was content in getting on with things quietly and keeping myself to myself. (Which by all means is completely awesome and fine to do.)
However, after a little while I started to wonder why I was so scared about speaking up and it occurred to me that I was terrified, terrified of failing. I was allowing all these excuses of people laughing, people thinking I couldn't do it, people getting annoyed with constant food pictures or writing quotes, and I realized that by doing this, by letting and creating these insecure negative thoughts build up in my head, I was setting myself up to fail. Even more so, I realized it wasn't about other people, I was giving myself an excuse. If I didn't tell people then it wouldn't matter if I failed or I never achieved my goals because no one would know.
I have a dream of becoming a published author, and saying that in all honesty terrifies me. I absolutely adore writing with every bit of me, but I have good days and bad days where I think who am I kidding? My book would suck. But standing tall and saying it to myself and answering the 'What do you do?" question with a confident "I write, I want to be a writer." pushes me. It challenges me every day to sit and write and push for my goals, in the same way that that twelve year old girl proudly proclaimed she was going to be a wrestler. A new found confidence came with telling people, but more importantly, a new found confidence came from telling myself, really actually telling myself, you want to do this, so do it.

So next time you see someone checking into the gym, posting healthy food pictures, sharing a goal, telling you what they are going to achieve, how they are going to be the next movie star or singer, be sure to offer a positive, uplifting few words of encouragement and support, pat them on the back for being confident, for having a dream and going after it. And to you, who may be lacking in confidence, I say, think back to the days of being a kid where nothing was impossible, where you happily ran around in a superman cape whole heartedly believing you were Superman, go forth and make that kid proud!! It's not so much about the likes or fitting into a crowd or even growing a social media platform, it's about doing what you love, sharing your passions and believing in yourself. Admit to yourself what you want and go out and get it.
Go and do something today that makes you one step closer to achieving your dreams and have a wonderful day!
Love Lucy xx
This has inspired me so much!! I can relate to this a lot, especially being scared to tell people about your goals. I've had my fair share of doubts, but then I remember how badly I want it. I don't know many people who actually go after their dreams like you, so thank you for constantly inspiring me and keeping me motivated! We're gonna make it big someday :)
ReplyDeleteSteph x.
Aww this means the world to me Steph, to know that you understand the feelings and that you are still pushing and challenging yourself everyday to get past the little fears or moments of anxiety, motivates me so much. You are awesome and make me smile every day! We got this, just got to keep believing in ourselves and beat fear! :) Sending huge hugs! xxx
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