Getting real and honest about long distance relationships.

To cut a long story short, after four years of being married to an American and after four years of tiresome, frustrating, expensive, heartbreaking and confusing paperwork, in October last year I became an American citizen (Dual citizen) and am now able to live in the great US of A. However, I am still very much British through and through and have family in England and therefore, after four years living in America, made the decision last year to move back to the UK. Oh life, you funny thing you.

And so it begins again. Yep, hello paperwork, good-bye savings and "seriously, can you just bugger off UK requirements?" Due to UK requirements for a spouse Visa, which states you have to be working at your job for six months before you can apply for one, and that job has to bring you in X amount per year, I have two jobs in order to meet that, Chris and I have been living 4000 plus miles a part since October last year. We've visited each other; he was here for a little while over Christmas and I visited Florida a few weeks ago for a week, but our lives are very much separate and we have no idea when we will be living together again.

During these times apart, our thought process goes a little like this:

"We got this!"

"I love you so much."

"I miss you."

Uh, I miss you so much."

"How many days until I see you again?"

"Can you not just be here now?"

"You are my everything I love you so much."

"Can sex be just sex? It's not like we would love the other people?"

"You're there, I'm here, is it all worth it?"

"But you're my favourite person ever."

"Do hall passes work?"

"Is this it? Are we going to keep doing this?"

"I love you more than life itself."

"Maybe you just need to find an American girl."

"Did you get kidnapped by aliens?" (The one time in 7 weeks I didn't wake up to a message from him.)

"But you're having all this fun without me."

"You really are my person!!"

"I don't want anyone but you."

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Because I haven't the foggiest as to what makes them work, if they work or what happens next. All I know is that I freaking LOVE my husband with every piece of me and our journey so far has been quite the adventure, with no immediate signs of following or settling into any kind of stable routine just yet. And, I guess I would haven't it any other way, besides you know, actually having him by my side every second of every day.

Don't get me wrong, I am blessed beyond belief and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world every single day for my relationship, but there are days when the forced to be a part thing can take it's toll a little bit. But hey, neither of us has called it quits yet and I do love that we get to learn something new about each other, and our needs and our wants, every day.  I have this ridiculously cool person that I get to call my husband and we get to face/challenge/experience life with each other, even if right now it's not quite in the conventional way.

Could you do long distance? Do you enjoy being with your partner 24/7 or do you enjoy having time apart? Do you believe in hall passes? I'd love to chat in the comments below.

Have a beautiful day!


  1. Ohhhh my love, this post just makes me want to give you a hug! That absolutely sucks, I can't imagine how hard it must be - the longest I've ever had to do is a few hours by train, and that was rubbish enough. I enjoy having the odd couple of days apart, but especially now we have a baby, I couldn't do a long time. Sam's going to Budapest on a stag do for 5 days in August and I'm dreading it (mainly because of our baby but also because I'll miss him!)
    I hope you guys get things sorted as soon as possible, stupid rules and regulations.
    Hels xx

    P.S I'm glad Chris didn't get abducted by aliens...

    1. Aww Hels, thank you so much for taking the time to read this and comment. I think sometimes it helps to be able to talk to others. I never want to sound ungrateful for the time spent together, because i truly appreciate it, I just have days when the weeks apart all get a bit much. I just like having him by my side. Chris gets in tomorrow morning for a week and I'm counting down the hours. He then goes to Italy for the summer and i will get to see him a few more times before he goes back to the States. I'm sorry you will have to be without Sam for 5 days, if you need anything, please just message. I understand it will be difficult just missing him, but, i imagine having Dougie and not having your other half with you to be there for you and help will be hard. If i can help in any way, please let me know! Thank you for your sweet words and you made me laugh about the aliens, I was having a bit of a silly moment and my brain ran away with me! :p

      Big hugs! Lucy xxx


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