What do women really want????!!!

*Just some thoughts I have been having recently and wanted to share. Does not apply to ALL men or ALL women! I hope this blog in some places will make you laugh in acknowledgement of what a crazy, unique and interesting bunch we ALL are and I hope some parts will make you think! In the end I feel the main point, for you men too, is that we can all stand to appreciate and love each other that much more! :) *

My husband went away for 4 days this past weekend and I missed him like crazy. While I still  worked on my own little projects and got things done, I counted down the hours till he walked through the door so I could squeeze him tight and never let him go! :)  During the time he was away I also did a lot of thinking, I thought about men and women and what we are like! I always come across magazines and tweets and pinterest quotes that do a lot of generalization about each of our kinds. Most of the time I enjoy reading them, as it's always nice to know there's people out there who understand your pain and confusion in that the simplest task of putting the dirty clothes in the laundry basket is somewhat of an incredibly difficult maze for (some) guys. :p But as of late when I have been reading and hearing the word feminism thrown around, I find that a lot of things out there seem very negative towards men. It seems that women are often criticizing them for something or another. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying they are perfect, but neither are we and I think women seem to forget that more than men.

I remember when I was in High school being asked the question 'what do you want in a man?' and I remember answering 'I don't know' I remember sitting there thinking to myself, how can I possibly answer that or say what he has to look like?. But I kid you not, and much to my surprise, many girls did actually answer 'tall, dark and handsome,' and knew exactly what they wanted and were pretty adamant on what a man must be. So from that little lesson to my observations, readings and perusing through social media, most women want a man who is:

Funny
Attractive
Looks after himself.
Has a good job
Passionate
Caring
Cleans
Takes out the trash
Deals with car problems
Listens
Great with kids
Makes them feel safe
Opens doors for them
Offers to pay the bill
Takes them on dates
Surprises them with gifts
Romantic
Charming
Rugged
Sexy
Can cook
Do laundry
Supports them.
Can recite poetry.
Plays an instrument.
Serenades them.
Bit of a bad boy.
Sensitive.
Let's them be independent.
Doesn't play games
Fixes things
Does manly tasks.

In other words women want a man who literally does everything and is a combination of all different types. For example:

We want a man who will swoop out of know where and rescue us and keep us safe from all harm. I mean who could resist a man like Thor whisking them away to another realm, all God like and then saving us from all the bad people? But Thor must know that we are not weak and if we suddenly decide that we want to be Miss independent and fight our own battles and be tough, then he should stand well back and leave us to our own devices. :p

We'd like a man who knows that it's not our job to take out the trash or fix the car or clean the gutters, but he must know that we are most definitely capable of doing such tasks, we just don't like to do them and consider them a man's job. However, he must never say that they are a man's job as that would be sexist.

We want a man who will do the laundry, iron and fold the clothes but if he doesn't do it OUR way then he is wrong and completely useless. What's wrong with his way??!!

We sometimes get so angry towards men who look at naked women or women posing provocatively, yet we forget that it's our so called kind that are 'betraying' us. We go on about sticking together and fighting for girl power but women are the ones breaking that 'rule', posing and technically giving men what they want and putting it out there for men to have access too. Clearly it's us women who haven't quite got on the same page there and therefore shouldn't we be mad at each other??!!

Our men must not look at or point out another women who is pretty and dressed sexy, yet we happily talk and have fun girly chats about Chris Evans's butt in Captain America. We go and watch romantic movies and drool over Channing Tatum and talk about how ridiculously hot he is. If a man talks about another women in that way he is often considered a pig. (On a side note, I do not consider Chris Evans a piece of meat, he seems incredibly sweet and just lovely. :) ) Women will be flocking out in their thousands to go and see Fifty Shades of Grey but if was other way round and the film had a dominate, sexy leading lady and it was being built up for men?......

Furthermore, we love when men recite poetry and talk about us with respect and like we are the most precious thing on the planet (Seriously how amazingly romantic and old fashioned is Tom Hiddleston?) but we will dance a long to catchy rap songs, that are degrading to women, if it has a catchy beat, although some days we might decide it's offensive and then other days we will continue to dance. It just depends on how we feel that day. ;)

We day dream and like to share quotes that give our guys hints or we make little lists. For instance, I always see quotes that read: 'all women simply want is a guy to kiss her on the forehead, sneak up and hug her from behind and treat her like she is a princess' But then when we see a list of what guys want, we immediately get offended and think they are rude, yet we don't stop to think about what they thought of our list. Automatically their list is wrong and should include more sweet things because that's what WE want.

We talk about how we are delicate creatures and how men should respect us and learn to cope with us during 'that time of the month' and such. They should be thoughtful and sweet because it's science and that's how the women's body is made up. It's unfair and they don't know what it's like and they just don't understand us or get how hard it is to be a girl sometimes. But if they so much as do anything that comes from their animal instincts of being a man and how their body and brain is made up, then they should have known better, etc.

When you type in 'What men want?' or 'Love quotes for men.' on Pinterest it comes up with a bunch of quotes as to what women want from their men and the odd quote actually referring to what men want. For example:

These and a bunch of others like this come up. We often talk about what women deserve and how they need their knight in shining armor to come and save them from all the bad men out there. We need Superman to come and heal our broken heart and to understand what the guy before him did. This Superman needs to realize that we have been hurt before and that we are going to treat him how ever we want to treat him because we have the right too. We know that he 'could' be just the same as the other guys. I have a brother!! A brother who is beyond awesome in every way, a brother who is sweet, tough, lovable, gorgeous and extremely kind hearted, if you think for a second you can play games with him and act like he has to treat you like a princess with out treating him like a prince, I will most definitely tell you where to go. These girls act like they deserve the world, but then treat guys who give them the world with no respect, just incase he turns out like the other guys, or they keep the nice guy on his toes and play games with him incase they suddenly decide that they want more of a bad boy and in actually fact this old fashioned Superman type that they thought they wanted is "too" nice. If you are a girl that doesn't think that the quote above applies just as much the other way round, then please stay away from my brother!!!!

I don't mean to sound like I am against women, I'm not at all, and I would like to make it 100% clear that this is definitely not all women or even all men. I for the most part would like to think that I do not act like some of the situations above, but I know that I am also not a saint in the matter, thanks to Ross and Rachel I occasionally burst in to little renditions of 'Baby got back.' :p In addition I know that some of these observations come from magazines such as Cosmopolitan, which are designed for women, and I know if I was to look through a men's magazine that I'm sure I would find plenty of statements that show men aren't so innocent. I guess all I am getting at is maybe it would be nice if our women's magazines changed the way they talk a little bit and if, we, as women on a whole changed our attitude towards men and how we perceive them. Maybe we should act and speak with more positivity and more kindness in our hearts and in return men would feel like they can relax and not feel like whatever they do or say is going to get them yelled at. I feel that over time we are the ones that have made men the way they are, with our constant questions or comments of 'you should do it this way' or 'why don't you get me?' or 'I want this, no actually I want it this way.' we really are quite the confusing breed and I think somewhere a long the line some men felt like they just couldn't win and gave up a little. I'm sure we have all experienced our parents say "You're not even trying or even doing it right just so I don't ask you to do it again." when it came to doing chores growing up, well, I think men got so fed up of us telling them that they weren't doing something right that it became easier in some cases to just leave us to do it ourselves.

Another thing, don't you think us women have it pretty great? I mean we live in a world now where we can be anything we want to be, we can do any job we want, (though yes I am aware of money and fighting for equality in other aspects) we have so much choice over so many pretty clothes, we can wear make up, we can do all the things that men do and it really isn't frowned up on any more. We can be tough chicks, quiet girls, confident women, we can be ladies who like to watch football with the boys and go to car shows and a lot of time boys welcome us and we can fit right in, be it whatever kind of 'type' we are. During my wrestling years, I had an awesome group of friends that I got to share my passion with and gender never even mattered, it was the most fun and drama free place to be with the boys and in those lessons I felt like I had the best of both worlds.

Guys have come a long way too, I mean in recent years it's become main stream for them to be able to wear skinny jeans and be a little more feminine, they are accepted as fashion designers and nurses. But wait, hang on a minute, if you actually stop to think about it, I believe that even though these kinds of things have become more main stream, it's actually still more judged and criticized than say a girl mechanic. Think about it, if a man goes to watch a girlie movie, you know he is going to get a little stick from his friends, if a man wants to be a makeup artist you know he is going to have to deal with people questioning if he is gay, if a man is in touch with his feminine side and allows a girl to talk to him, he is often put into the friend zone, if a man is a stay at home Dad people will joke about who's wearing the pants in the family. Therefore, it seems that men don't quite get that welcome freedom to be anything they want to be as much as women.

Sometimes I wonder if us women walk around with our heads held high acting like we are hard done by just because we can. We have made men so scared of us and treat them as if our life is a struggle and we do so much that they must bow down, when really both gender's have struggles. I believe men maybe even more so. You know, once when I was working at a nursery I got so excited thinking about a Father's day card, I was going to get the kids to draw cars and then do their finger prints as the wheels, I couldn't wait to show the other teachers and get started on them. The Mother's had been so happy with their Mother's day cards, I thought the Dad's would love there's. However, I was told that we didn't do Father's day cards as some children don't have Father's. In my group alone I had maybe 4 out of 9 kids whose Dad's picked them up and dropped them off every day and the other 5 kids whose Dad's I would see at least twice a week dropping them off and picking them up.

Have you ever heard a women joke about the fact that men do hardly any of the work to produce a baby, they laugh and talk about how they had to carry the baby for 9 months and they treat men as if they are so small in the equation. They go on about how men don't know what it's like to have their body completely change and what it feels like to push a baby out? Yes? I have too. Far to many times I have heard those women go straight for blaming the man. Is it just me or should women be blaming science or God or whomever they believe in for that???!!! Correct me if I'm wrong but it's not like the men set out to design our bodies so they didn't have to deal with that. One way or the other we evolved and that's how human bodies were formed and women just happened to be the ones that were given the magic of carrying a child. When its time for my husband and I to have a baby I'd like to make sure he knows that he is just as important and how blessed I feel to have him in my life and by my side through the whole process.

If you truly think about it, men don't ask for a lot. They really don't. In getting married I have a husband who looks after me, he protects me, he brings home the bacon but supports my choices of going to work or not, he says thank you when I do the laundry and make dinner, he wakes up on weekends and makes me breakfast because I make it during the week. He's sensitive and he listens, yet he's sexy as hell and can kick ass. He's way better with fashion and picks out clothes for me and I'm the one that can actually build a shelf and a dresser the right way round. I take out the trash and I clean the toilet and in our little world we don't set jobs based on sex, there's no job that he should do or I should do because he's a man and i'm a women, we make it work and everything is naturally 50/50. He doesn't talk about work and stand on a podium telling me how many hours he just worked and he NEVER complains about ANYTHING. We don't expect things off one an other or act like we owe each other something or one of us is a better partner because we do this, this and this. We do things in love and don't make up lists and wait to pounce when one might fail. Shouldn't that be how we all act towards each other regardless of gender? (I'm not bragging or acting like our marriage is perfect but it took my amazing husband to make me realize a lot of this stuff, as when I stopped to take a breathe and actually listen to what he was saying, (men do talk, are we really listening?) when I let go of my past insecurities (my job to fix them not his) and took in everything this man in front of me was, and once I stopped nagging him to put his socks in the wash basket and not next to it, (he does a million tasks that I don't do, yet I pick on him for this one little thing he doesn't do, why? ) I realized I got one of the good ones and that he truly is a beautiful person.)

So for those women who seem to get angry at men and think women have something to prove, I ask you, is it really the men that are the problem? Is it really the men that are doing everything wrong? Is it really men that are incompetent and useless? or are we simply asking too much? Are we so quick to judge them that they just can not compete to our standards? And aren't we really the ones that need to come down a peg or two and instead of getting on our high horse about men having the best jobs or this and that, can we not just say thank you to those men who take those roles to provide for their families and take on the loads of stress because they are still old fashioned and care about something bigger than themselves? (Women please go after those jobs too but know we all deserve them equally.) Can we not sit back and say thank you to all those men, for example, who fought in WW1 and WW2, to protect their country and the women they had at home? Or instead should I be angry at my Grandad, who fought in WW2, for not taking my Nanna with him and for being sexist, thinking she didn't belong out there? And women, should we not just try and be a little more laid back and accept men for who they are? Shouldn't we stop acting like all men are evil and give those who are sweet a fighting chance? Shouldn't we stop making lists of what we want or what we think men should be?

And just as a side note, if all men really did want a women with blonde hair and big boobs, with no imperfections and the perfect body and who were always put together, never frazzled and always knew what they wanted, as we seem to think they do on their lists... I wouldn't have a husband!! :p

Again this is not all men and it's not all women. The world is one crazy and wonderful place filled with crazy and wonderful people. We are all individual and unique and we all have our own opinions. I have been around men who I most definitely do not care for or agree with and I have been around women to whom I do not understand or agree with. This is simply just my take on some of societies views and this is simply me standing up for those men in my life who are rather amazing and incredible people and to whom I do not feel it is fair for them to be thought of as anything but.

Have a blessed day!

Love Lulu xx

2 comments :

  1. I agree! Now we may be biased since we have such great hubbies, but I think we are a society that applauds complaining, comparing, & criticizing. Just look at any magazine cover or listen to a conversation at Starbucks. I think if we all chose to focus more on the positive & less on the negative that we wouldn't have as many issues, especially with the opposite sex. Have a blessed day!

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