It's nice to be nice! :)

" If you haven't got anything nice to say don't say anything."
 
"Treat other's how you want to be treated"
 
 
Since starting my blog, Etsy shop and getting hooked on YouTube videos, such as Jaclyn Hill and Nerdy Nummies, I have to admit that I spend a lot of time on the computer. A few years back it was common for me to simply check emails and update facebook, then when moving to Louisville, the computer became more significant with the need for Skype, and when TNA British Boot camp came into my life, I was informed about the importance of keeping up with social media to stay relevant. All of a sudden the worldwide web became a daily fixture in my life. It was no longer a quick catch up, it was a staple in routine. It's something I can't help but feel guilty about and I always try and limit myself some days so I'm not just glued to my little screen, when there is a big beautiful world that surrounds me, but I have to admit that I enjoy many aspects of what it allows me to do, for example, the aforementioned Etsy shop and research (yes Jaclyn Hill is important research :p) and this here blog! :)

I love being able to connect with people and I think that is sometimes made easier online. When you are out and about in public you are not always going to strike up a conversation with someone or know by looking at them that they share the same interests as you. Online you can follow blogs, read tweets and search for communities where people enjoy and like what you like and I think that is a really wonderful thing. For example, I adore reading and I love the fact that now when I finish reading a book that captivates me and that I fall in love with, I can Tweet to the author and often communicate with them back and forth. It brightens my day knowing that I can say thank you to them and let them know I enjoyed their hard work. :) In addition, it makes me smile when I see another person tweet a quote from my favourite song or show, knowing that someone else laughed at the same thing you laughed at has a simple way of making you feel connected and happy inside.

However, with all the pro's there are naturally con's and that's what I wanted to discuss today. You see with all this extra time on the computer and new things I find each day to occupy myself with on the internet (I just have to catch up with all the adorable things that Ro makes. :p ) I have found myself becoming more aware of those negative tweets or mean spirited comments and my initial reaction is 'Why?' just 'Why?' I don't think my brain will ever understand how people can be so negative and cruel, hence the quotes at the top of the page. These quotes I will never forget, I was brought up on these quotes and can as clear as day hear my Mum saying them in my head. There is simply no excuse, no justification at all to be horrible to someone.

Now I don't want to get on my high horse but this weekend I was filled with happiness and absolute inspiration upon watching the Nerd HQ panels with Zachary Levi, Yvonne Strahovski and the Badass Women's panel. I came away from them wishing that all the people in the world would watch and take note.

Amongst many up lifting and inspirational things Zachary Levi said it made me smile from ear to ear when he spoke the words "It doesn't cost you anything to be kind." It's so simple and so very true!

I understand that people are entitled to their own opinion but that brings to mind another quote that my Mum shared with us kids growing up, "It's not what you say it's how you say it." By all means, it's ok to not like a movie or not be fond of a book, or to not like a specific makeup look or the way someone is dressed, but does the word 'hate' really have to come into play? I've said it before and i will say it again, there are movies that I am not keen on and actors that aren't my favourites but I most certainly am not going to spend my time criticizing them when that is valuable time that I could be spent happily telling you just how truly awesome Captain awesome is! :p In speaking of criticism, that brings me to another point, I for one think that constructive criticism is great and I have always been very good at taking it. I want to be the best I can be or learn how to do something better next time, but criticism for criticism's sake...no, please no. If you are about to say something or critique someone, first think about what they are going to gain from what you are saying. Can they go away and improve upon what they did? Are they learning something? Is it going to lift them up and help them progress? If not, then keep it to yourself. I say this from experience, you see, during my time wrestling I was aware that I was open to the public eye and that people would have their favourite wrestlers and I wasn't always going to be one of them. At first I would find myself glancing at comments on matches but eventually I just stopped. Of course I wanted to knowing if people were enjoying what I was doing but it wasn't worth the heart break when I came across something negative. I realized that the people that were going to help me be the best and get better were the people at training, my trainers that new what they were talking about and had my best interests at heart. Granted the fans had a right to like or not like me, but reading someone say that you aren't good at what you do, well, that just hurts. Furthermore, it didn't help me improve. What specifically didn't they like? What area did they want me to work on? How can I be better? Were just some of the things that raced through my head and obviously not knowing the person I was left with these questions unanswered. I had to learn to not overthink or let this get to me, as you simply can't please everyone and I was doing the best I could and living my dream. :)

Moreover, when my sister and I started wrestling 9 years ago and we were exposed to this world of people either loving you or hating you, we vowed never to acknowledge or fight against negativity and this past weekend Zachary Levi summed up our thoughts on the matter:

"Instead of letting someone attack you and getting baited into attacking back, be graceful with them back and say 'hey man, where do you wanna go with this? Cause I'm not gonna hate you. I know whatever is going on in you is deeper that what's going on between us, so I'm just going to love you back.' And that's so powerful."

It is powerful indeed and he makes so much sense. Fighting back doesn't help, I like to make sure that I stay happy and positive and be more so, in hopes that one day something I do or say will make those negative people see the light and smile. (Or at least give me constructive criticism ;p )

Another thing occurred to me this week after watching the Nerd HQ's Badass Women's panel and hearing them talk about the terms of being a bitch. I feel often when I come across reality TV shows it's all about the drama and all you get is people being rude, mean and horrible to each other. Apparently everyone's standing there ground and being confident, independent and strong and going after their spot and we are made to believe that acting that way to achieve that is ok, that being a 'diva' is ok because it means you don't take crap from anyone. The world seems to encourage this behavior, to say it's fine to walk around with your head held high looking down on others because it means you are a strong, powerful women. (Or man) Here's a thought, can't we have shows that highlight women challenging each other to go after their dreams? Giving each other constructive criticism? Lifting each other up and being proud of each other for what other's achieve? I for one would really like to see that! Some might class that as boring and not entertaining but I think that is sad that being bitchy is now what we class as entertaining. Yvonne Strahovski, Retta, Ming-Na Wen, Missy Peregrym, Jennifer Morrison and Sophie Turner were extremely entertaining on the Nerd HQ panel and they communicated with each other, made each other laugh, listened to each other, empowered each other and I could have sat and listened to them and their stories all day.

I don't mean to highlight and take time out to discuss negativity as I do not like drawing attention to it. I know we all know it happens and it's out there, but I felt compelled to talk about it after feeling so empowered and happy after Nerd HQ this past weekend. And I wasn't even actually present, I just streamed the video's from home! :p The hours that I spent doing this I was just in awe and thought 'I wish we had stuff like this on TV more often, I wish this was classed as reality TV and I wish the whole world would watch and pay close attention to the positive, incredible and wonderful message that Zachary Levi and all at The Nerd Machine put out!!!

In closing, please remember that:

You can be kick ass by being kind and caring.

You are still strong and powerful even if your voice is calm and quiet.

You can still reach dreams and goals and the top of the ladder by lifting up others and being happy for their success.

You can be confident and independent and hold your head up without looking down on others.

If you are part of an online community, message board or you see something negative on a video you like or an instagram picture, do your part to fight right! Don't respond with negativity, respond with a simple quote or positive word! :)

Always speak and act with love in your heart!!

It's nice to be nice!! :)

Have a wonderful day!

Love Lulu xx

Oooh and please check out https://www.youtube.com/user/NerdMachineTV for all the awesomeness and inspiring videos and people that I have mentioned!! True role models for which I have the utmost respect and admiration for!! :) <3






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